First, let me clear up something from the title pic. I’m NOT little, nor am I lonely. I will take the lovely lady part, however.
Good! Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, how are you? Me, I’m still fat, and back with some more tips on Disney travel for those of us shaped like Ursula.
You might recall, I wrote a previous article full of my feelings on being fat and how to best incorporate that into Disney travel. You can find it here. I also wrote about clothing options for plus-size princesses, which you can find here.
Let’s get started with some ideas I hope you can use if you’re packing some extra fluff.
You won’t sink the boat!
Here I am, not sinking!
Disney is great at providing ride requirements that are easily located in your park map and at the attractions themselves. In other words, if there’s a weight limit, it will be clearly posted.
In addition, cast members (CM) are trained to load the attraction they’re working. For the most part, they know what they’re doing, but don’t be afraid to speak up if a distracted CM seems to be packing too many sardines in the proverbial can. When asked for our party size, I’ve been known to say, “We’re a large (insert party size).” In other words, all parties of four, or two, or even one are not created equal. If your group doesn’t fit on a single row, then be sure to say something.
You might need an extra segment of caterpillar…
Let me explain.
Nice segments, Heimlich!
Another darling attraction is Heimlich’s Chew Chew Train in Disney’s California Adventure. On each train, the door to all but one of the seats is the width of one segment of caterpillar. The reality is, I’m much larger than one segment.
Should I tuck my imaginary tail between my legs, and cross off sweet Heimlich from my Disney ‘to do’ list? No way!
Again, you must to be willing to ask for what you need, and in this case, I ask for accessible seating. You might need to wait a little, but when you make a polite request of a CM, they’re typically more than willing to accommodate. My sister and I waited for one extra train, letting some guests pass in front of us, and were able to have a seat on Heimlich with a TWO segment door!
Ready for our Chew Chew Train ride!
Speaking of extra room, don’t feel bad if you need to be seated alone on an attraction.
I often times will watch other guests being loaded onto an attraction while waiting in line. If the fit looks like it’s going to be tight, especially for those attractions with side-by-side seating, I’ve asked CMs not to seat anyone next to me.
Again, be proactive, with an extra dose of politeness, and it’s amazing how much nicer your ride experience can be.
Sometimes you’re the log lady!
And finally, I’m going to tell you about the second most embarrassing experience of my life. I’m doing this as a public service, in the hopes that I might spare you.
On the final day of our trip, my sister and I decided to ride Splash Mountain. As long as I’m in the mood for a particular amount of sogginess, I really enjoy this ride. As we approached the loading area, I was under the mistaken impression that sitting in the very back of the log would be perfect because, not only is it a roomier seat, I was deluded enough to think I might avoid some of that cold, mountain water.
Buckets, people. I would have endured bucket upon bucket of water being poured over me to not experience what happened next.
As soon as I sat down, I felt like I was vacuum sealed into my seat. I even told my sis that I thought I might be stuck, but off we went.
When we returned to unload, what happened as I tried to pry my body from the grips of the log was nothing short of horrifying.
Here is the text I sent my husband shortly after, what I can only describe as the hand of God himself, loosening me from the suction of the back seat:
Friends, I was sure that every person in Critter Country was staring at me like I had three nostrils and should be sent to live with the feral cats of Disneyland for such a hideous display.
The moral of this story if you are short and fat like me…
I still cannot bring myself to Google “Splash Mountain Log Lady 2016” for fear of what I might find. If this should happen to you, first, you have my sincerest condolences, and, second, you have every right to insist on that Dole Whip Float. You’ve earned it!
